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Vol. 19 No. 16 • March 31-April 6, 2005

By Matt Mernagh

Silly stoners, marijuana isn’t legal. Bud isn’t even decriminalized. There is so much confusion regarding the state of marijuana that the police are taking advantage of stoner stupidity to bust the legally naďve who happen to smoke up in public. A fine example is my friend Indiana Indica who proclaimed to an investigating officer, “No stem. No seed. What I got here is just pure weed.” Sadly old Indiana had more than the police tolerable level of marijuana on him. He was dragged away screaming, “It’s Legal! It’s Legal!”

Marijuana possession is not legal, but it’s not illegal either. Confused? So are the politicians. How did old Indiana get caught? Well, he forgot the catchphrase that could have prevented him from spending a night in the pokey. Even those suffering from short term memory loss can remember, “Thirty and under was their blunder.” That is how much grass a pothead can have in their possession without being charged. Anything over thirty grams and it’s off to jail.

Purchasing marijuana remains an offense. In the historic ruling in Ontario that made 30 grams permissible, the judge didn’t take into account where a terminally or chronically ill person was to get the medicinal marijuana. Many in the movement refer to this as, “Legal Medicine, No Legal Source.” Health Canada, under the direction of MP Alan Rock was supposed to be the supplier, but HC continues to claim in court that they’re in the drug approval business, not the drug supplying business. Regardless, trafficking in dope is illegal.

The police are using this judgmental oversight to pop stoners carrying more than one dime bag of grass on them for trafficking. Stoners are advised to keep all their grass in one baggy to avoid getting a trafficking charge. Clearly stepping over the line are the horror stories of cops arresting a pack of stoners for trafficking when they’ve passed a joint around the circle. Cultivating remains a crime too. There’s no such thing as growing pot for personal use. A friend of Indiana’s claimed that 285 plants growing in his basement were for personal use to the police when they raided his home.

Police might be tolerating 30 grams of grass, but growers have felt their wrath causing a severe draught in Ontario. The epidemic has gone so far that Toronto compassion clubs are limiting purchases to five grams and under. A severe drought of quality marijuana seems to be in effect for most of Ontario. Hopefully the fall harvest will come in and alleviate the stress of going without.

Stoners should note that these legal technicalities only apply to Ontario. There are several provinces that still have police more than willing to bust people for simple possession. The prince of pot, Marc Emery (owner of Marc Emery Seeds Direct, publisher of Cannabis Culture) went on a summer crusade across Canada to free the weed. Victories in Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia have cops backing off simple possession there, but British Columbia, where a judge struck down the possession law, has cops remaining ever vigilant.

Sadly most stoners make up a subculture that, put bluntly, is the slowest bunch of dummies around. They spout off nonsensical shit about how weed is legal when in reality they should be paying tribute to the dedicated individuals who fought the law. At 4:19, a minute before the international stoner hour of 4:20, I suggest a moment of silence for the handful of activists who have successfully made a paradise for all of us.


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